Annoying Ways to Wake Your Brother
by Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010
Summary: As the title implies - this will be a collection of short stories of how to wake your brother Tracy style. Rated M for language - I'm using the age ranges from the movie rather than the TV show. All rights go to Gerry Anderson and I own nothing - this is merely for entertainment purposes.
1. I'm a Gummy Bear

Annoying Ways to Wake Your Brother

Alan rolled over in bed, hugging his pillow to his chest as he slumbered on. He was just getting to the good part in his dream where the woman of his dreams – she had Megan Fox's striking blue eyes as well as her dark brown hair. She had a body to die for, curves that hit all the right places, legs that went on for miles and lips that were perfect especially when they…

"_Mi-ia hii, mi-ia hoo, mi-ia ha, mi-ia haha_"

Alan lifted his head to glare at Gordon who was dancing around their shared bedroom at five in the fucking morning. Gordon was holding Alan's hairbrush and lip syncing into it as he listened to the Numa Numa song.

"Shut the fuck up Gordon and let me sleep!" Alan grabbed his pillow before pulling it over his head.

"Come on sing with me Alan." Gordon grabbed Alan's pillow – wrangling it away from his baby brother before dancing around the bedroom. Doing the Egyptian walk as he sang along to the song in its original Romanian language.

"No, let me go back to sleep." Alan laid down and pulled his blankets up over his head as he attempted to ignore his brother.

Gordon only turned the music up louder, whilst threatening to make Alan commit murder. Alan reached out from under his blankets and grabbed the closest item he could find without looking and lobbed it at his older brother who was being a pain in the ass while most normal people were sleeping.

"Ow…" Gordon whimpered as he was hit with the shoe that Alan chucked at him. "Okay now you've done it."

Gordon practically skipped over to the stereo against the far wall before pressing skip three times.

"_Ooh Eeh Ooh Ah Aah Ting Tang Walla Walla Bing Bang!_"

"For god's sake Gordon shut UP!" Alan cried as he tried to ignore Gordon's attempts to stir him up. "I swear you are more annoying as a twenty-four year old than you were at thirteen!"

All Alan wanted was a few more hours of uninterrupted sleep. Was that too much to ask? He'd spent several days awake studying for midterms his freshman year of college and he desperately wanted to catch up on sleep now that he was home for Thanksgiving break, but was Gordon letting him get the sleep he required? Noooo!

"You're just being a stick in the mud, lighten up have a little fun!" Gordon vaulted onto Alan's bed and sat straddling his little brother who was lying flat on his stomach. "Hey guess what I've got with me!"

"A roll of duct tape and a noose. Am I close?" Alan growled as he grabbed one of his other pillows and buried his head beneath it. It was too early for this!

"Nope! I've got a remote!" Gordon pointed said remote towards the stereo and pressed a couple buttons

"No Gordo, please no!" Alan whimpered as he tried so desperately to go back to sleep. He was tired, he wanted – no CRAVED sleep and he couldn't get that when Gordon was being obnoxious.

"Oh yes Alan!" Gordon pressed play on the remote before…

"_Day-O, Day-Ay-Ay-O, Daylight come and me wan go home._" Came out over the speakers.

As the song got to its slow rhythm, Gordon who still sat on Alan's back started rocking from side to side. When the song gradually got louder, Gordon would bounce where he sat making Alan grunt and groan at being jostled when he so badly still wanted to sleep.

"Okay I'll be nice for now." Gordon crooned as he crawled off of Alan's back.

"_Oh I'm a gummy bear! Yes I'm a gummy bear!_" Gordon leaned up close to Alan's ear by this time and this time put his finger into his mouth before making a "_pop_" sound. Alan threw his fist back and tried to hit Gordon, but the redhead came prepared because he happened to hold up a pillow to protect himself from Alan's hit.

"Gordon, if you don't can it I'm going to kill you!" Alan picked up the pillow he had laying over his head and chucked it at Gordon. He just wanted to sleep!

"I love you too Alan!" Gordon started dancing around the bedroom whilst listening to Barbie Girl as the new song to pester Alan with. Alan's growl was impressive and he pulled his blankets back up over his head whilst covering his ears as he tried valiantly to ignore Gordon and his annoying song choices.

"_Ah-yippie-yi-yu, ah yippie-yi-yeah, ah yippie-yi-yu-ah_"

"Damn it Gordon!" Alan threw back his blankets and proceeded to chase Gordon around their bedroom – Dr. Jones by Aqua playing in the background as Gordon jumped up onto his bed in attempt to get away from Alan.

Gordon took off running out into the hall, realizing he'd bitten off more than he could chew with pestering Alan. It didn't really help that Gordon had nowhere to go. However it didn't take him very long to realize that Alan had faked him out and had quit chasing him who knows when. Sneaking back into his bedroom, Gordon spotted an Alan shaped lump lying under his coverlet. Smirking mischievously to himself, Gordon who still held the remote clicked a couple buttons before another song was heard.

"_I'm a wolf today…I'll huff I'll puff I'll blow you away."_

"Gordon please, I'm begging you…please for once in your damn life will you just shut up and let me sleep? Please?" Alan turned to begging as he tried to return to sleep. He really wasn't in the mood for killing his brother this morning.

"Sorry kiddo, I've got to get my morning calisthenics somehow." Gordon leaned into their shared bedroom and smiled innocently when Alan rolled over to shoot him a death glare.

"Can you at least shut off C'est La Vie? Please it's giving me a headache." Alan groaned.

"Sure…I can put on Wannabe by the Spice Girls if you like." Gordon grinned when Alan huffed in exasperation.

"Never mind… I'm out of here." Alan got up and grabbed his pillow and blanket before leaving his and Gordon's bedroom.

"Where are you going?" Gordon inquired incredulously as Alan shuffled past him.

"Somewhere that I can get a few more uninterrupted hours of sleep." Alan groaned as he shuffled down the hall.

Several minutes later found Alan in another wing of the villa. He rubbed at his sleep deprived eyes before knocking lightly on Scott's bedroom door. A quiet come in was heard and Alan opened the door to peek in. There sitting at his desk, bent over tying his running shoes was Scott. He was always an early bird and was almost always up before seven.

"What's up Sprout?" Scott inquired as he noticed Alan carried his pillow and blanket with him.

"Can I crash in here for a few hours? Gordo's being obnoxious and won't let me sleep." Alan rubbed at his eyes – they felt about as dry as sandpaper right now and Alan was just gunning for a few more hours.

Scott looked at his baby brother with sympathy; it was obvious Alan was deathly tired. He had dark circles under his eyes no doubt from the many nights of little to no sleep while at University.

"Sure thing Sprout." Scott stood up before peeling back the blankets of his freshly made bed before allowing Alan to slip beneath the sheets. Pulling the blankets up to cover the nineteen year old Alan's shoulders, Scott watched as Alan fell to sleep almost immediately. Scott decided that to ensure that Alan could get a few uninterrupted hours of sleep; he'd play the role of guard dog and put off doing his jog for later in the morning. It was only five-thirty, not like he couldn't do his jog after Alan woke up again.


	2. Clowning Around

Alan came shuffling down the stairs around ten…he still felt tired, but not nearly as tired as he had been before dragging himself to Scott's room for a few more hours of solace. Scott trailed behind him, having hung out in his room keeping an eye on Alan to make sure he got adequate sleep.

"Good morning boys." Jeff replied from his place at the breakfast table before glancing at his watch. "You slept in late Scott."

"No, I've been awake since four forty-five…Scott pointed at Gordon who was shoveling breakfast into his mouth as fast as he could. "He woke Alan up unnecessarily and Alan came to me so he could sleep."

Jeff lowered the newspaper to send a look at Gordon. "Son, what did I say about bothering your brother? You've seen how tired he is over the vid…give him a few days to sleep before you pester him again."

Gordon slumped his shoulders, pouting at having his fun ruined. "You just had to go to Scott didn't you Alan?"

"Yeah, I wasn't going to pester John…he's sick in bed with the flu and do you really think I could sleep with Virgil in the same room? He snores!" Alan sent a look at Gordon. "The last person I could have gone to would have been dad and do you know how awkward sleeping with my dad would be especially being nineteen?"

"Oh thanks Alan…I change your diapers until you're two and a half – share a bed with you until you were seven and that's the thanks I get?" Jeff was referring to when Alan was a little boy – just after Lucy died. Alan had taken to sleeping in his father's bed – the fear of losing another parent hanging over his head. Jeff hadn't minded. Alan was a smooth sleeper, once he was bundled in the blankets he stayed asleep through the night. He wasn't an active sleeper like Gordon and he didn't toss and turn like Scott, John and Virgil did.

"It was fine when I was a child – that's kind of cute…but a nineteen year old man sleeping in the same bed as his father, that's a little creepy." Alan groaned. "I mean would you have really been okay with me just crawling into bed with you this morning at five? No, you like all of us…except for Gordon like our sleep…" Alan settled a glare on Gordon as he continued speaking. "And don't appreciate being woken up to the Numa Numa song."

"Hey, what can I say…you were just begging to be woken up with such a rhythmic song. I got a work out." Gordon spooned a heaping spoonful of eggs into his mouth and smiled – with bulging cheeks like that of a chipmunk.

"You are going to be dead when I get my hands on you." Alan threatened as he allowed Scott to push him down into his seat which was situated beside his father. The seating arrangements were normally as followed: Jeff, to his right sat Scott, Virgil, Gordon while to his left sat Alan and John when the space monitor was Earth side, Brains, Fermat, Kyrano, Onaha and lastly Tin-Tin.

"Now, Now Alan…settle down." Jeff tutted after Alan – patting his knee in warning to not make death threats to his brother – no matter how annoying.

"Yes dad." Alan conceded.

"Now eat your breakfast." Jeff picked up where he left off with reading his morning newspaper as two of his other boys dug into their morning meal.

Several minutes passed in silence before a quiet shuffling was heard in the hallway and John made an appearance. He was as pale as could be – two light pink splotches on his cheeks distinguishing where his fever was felt.

"John, what are you doing out of bed?" Alan stood up to help his spaghetti legged older brother to his seat at the table.

"I was hungry." John replied before sniffling. That he coughed was still paramount to how sick he still was and probably would be for the next week. John never had the strongest immune system – given that he spends almost all of his available time in space, away from any and every germ that each of his brothers encountered on a daily basis.

"You could have called one of us to bring you some toast." Scott chastised.

"I said I was hungry, not eating like a bird." John snapped at Scott. He always got snippy when he was sick.

"Sheesh!" Scott held his hands up in surrender.

"Here John." Alan fixed John a quick bowl of oatmeal before placing it in front of his brother. "I'll be in my room dad. Later."

"Aren't you going to visit? I haven't seen you since May!" Jeff was shocked that Alan wasn't up for visiting. He'd missed his son.

"Sorry dad! Got some stuff to take care of." Alan stood up before clearing his place at the table of his dirty dishes. Hurrying out of the room, Alan vanished into thin air.

"Well that was unusual." Scott muttered aloud to himself.

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

Alan wandered through the hall, nose in a book. His talk with Quinn was good, she was a great girl and Alan absolutely adored her. Not only that, but she had one hell of a sense of humor and Alan often found himself on the receiving end of a prank from the girl that was his neighbor in the co-ed dorms. He'd held such a kinship with the girl and they'd bonded over prank wars. And she helped him devise a prank to play on Gordon to get back at him for waking him up so early in the morning.

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

Gordon staggered into his bedroom, he felt exhausted. Damn Scott and his righteous tendencies. He'd somehow convinced his father to agree to make Gordon wait hand and foot on John who was still laid up in bed sick with the flu two days later. And John? Gordon felt it was cruel that John demanded on having a back rub to help loosen up his tense muscles from having almost frequent coughing spells.

Falling forward onto his bed, Gordon ignored the chore of undressing – he felt tired enough to sleep in his clothes. The light was already off, Alan having gone to bed not long after dinner. Alan was beginning to look sickly himself, no doubt from the lack of sleep due to midterms then to come home to be around a sickly brother. That was never a good combination. Slipping into sleep, Gordon lost all awareness of time.

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

The house shook with a very high pitched scream at nearly three in the morning and thundering feet soon ensued.

"Alan! I'm going to kill you!" Gordon cried as he gave chase. Alan who was actually quite agile from having run from his older brothers a lot growing up was quick to get away as he laughed. The look on Gordon's face was priceless and he was so glad that he'd had Scott and John on his side. John had played the sick card a little longer than he normally would. He was truthfully feeling better but he was milking it for all it was worth and Scott helped Alan film Gordon's reaction to the prank. Quinn who was actually going to college to become a makeup artist had given Tin-Tin tips over the vid phone to fix Alan up with the creepiest and very lifelike demonic clown face.

Gordon didn't like clowns much, granted he wasn't afraid of them…he just didn't like them. He didn't find them amusing…he found them rather annoying actually. Maybe now he'd be afraid of them.

Scott doubled over laughing as he watched his second youngest brother tear off after Alan when the younger of the two snuck up in the dark of their bedroom dressed as a very creepy demonic looking clown and shone a flashlight into his face. Scott himself was fine with clowns, but seeing Alan dressed like that was disturbing. Tears streamed down Scott's face as he closed his eyes tight, laughing uncontrollably.

"That was priceless Alan." Scott muttered as he wiped tears from his eyes from laughing so hard. Turning off the video camera he'd been filming Gordon's reaction with, Scott left his little brother's bedroom and hurried to his own. He'd agreed that Alan should sleep in there with him that night after pulling a stunt like they had just done and Scott was going to pull out the air mattress and prepare the spare bed for his little brother to sleep on.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: So here is the second chapter to this story that I felt compelled to write after a great round of pestering my older brother and roommate with the songs mentioned in the first chapter. I will say this, I am going to do a continuation of this chapter where I go further into detail about what Alan actually did to scare Gordon...(I've done it myself before only I dressed as a zombie and scared the jeepers creepers out of my older brother back when we were in high school.) <strong>_

_**Hope you all enjoyed this chapter albeit not exactly funny.**_


	3. Scare Tactics

"Are you sure this'll work?" Scott leaned in the bathroom door of Tin-Tin's bathroom, watching as Alan who sat on the closed toilet closed his eyes for the application of the clown makeup.

"_It'll totally work Scott; trust me when I say I know my stuff. This'll really get back at your brother for waking Alan the other day."_ Scott turned his gaze to the video phone which was propped up by a rolled up towel. Quinn was seen grinning an evil smirk. "_This isn't the first time Alan and I have done this to get back at someone before. We're not rookies."_

"Do I even want to know what you and Alan did to get back at that poor soul?" Scott took a look at Alan when his brother snorted a laugh. "What's so funny?"

"That prank Quinn and I played on one of the dorm parents. He wouldn't quit making comments about me and Quinn staying safe sexually when we hung out together. Quinn and I don't even like each other that way!" Alan bit his lip and pulled himself together when Tin-Tin tutted over him not keeping a still face.

"Okay, now I'm curious." Scott said as he wondered what Quinn (a girl Alan has known for all of seven or eight months) could have possibly done to get back at the dorm parent for doing their job of maintaining student safety.

"That makes two…what did you and Quinn get up to Alan?" Tin-Tin inquired as she looked across the counter at one of her friends from when she'd attended an all-girl's school in Britain.

"_Nothing…just made the dorm father think that maybe I was one of those "I didn't know I was Pregnant" girls."_ Quinn grinned sheepishly as she shrugged. "_I've certainly got the figure for a pregnant girl._"

"Quinn, I keep telling you that you aren't overweight…why don't you believe me?" Alan opened his eyes and glared across the counter at his mutual friend of Tin-Tin's.

"_Perhaps because I wear big girl's clothes and have had people ask me before when I was due._" Quinn rolled her eyes. "_Anyway, Alan and I dumped some water on the floor to dampen the carpet in the commons, and then I started moaning and clutching at my stomach. I was hid behind the couch so that only my head and shoulders could be seen."_

"I think I know where this is going…" Tin-Tin said as she jabbed a finger hard into Alan's shoulder.

"Hey! Ow!" Alan opened his eyes and made a face of pain at his friend. He and Tin-Tin weren't exactly dating, but not exactly best friends anymore either. They dated off and on mostly. "It wasn't like we staged a sexual encounter!"

"Then what did you do?" Tin-Tin asked with a stern look. The look in her eyes though carried no form of heat though as the corners of her mouth threatened to turn up into a smile.

"Quinn and I smeared fake blood all over the front of one of my t-shirts and made it look like I'd just delivered a baby for someone. We even went so far as to borrow one of those crying baby dolls from the medical class and before you say anything Scott, we had their permission to borrow the doll." Alan chimed in before Tin-Tin made him quit talking.

"_So we covered the baby doll in some diluted fake blood, made it look really gory and wrapped it in Alan's t-shirt. We turned on the baby doll so it'd cry and it sounds like a new born too. The dorm father came into the commons to see what the entire ruckus was as I sounded like I was dying…and the guy just about passed out at the sight of the blood and the newborn baby in Alan's arms_." Quinn started chuckling. "_It took Alan wrestling the phone away from him to make him not want to call an ambulance."_

"That was so much fun though…and I can't believe we were able to get some of our neighbors in on it too. Even the other dorm parent was in on it." Alan started laughing to the point where Tin-Tin stopped trying to spread makeup on Alan's face.

"_He had a good sense of humor about it though…hasn't bothered us once since. Has he Alan?_" Quinn smiled at Alan when he finally settled down enough for Tin-Tin to finish spreading makeup to make him look unnaturally pale. "_Tin-Tin, you'll want to let that set and dry for a while or else it could smear when you're finished."_

"Okay, well it's almost dinner time for us." Tin-Tin finished applying the makeup and stepped back a little to admire her work. "What do you think Quinn, does that look like a good base coat?"

Quinn was quiet for a few moments as she appraised Tin-Tin's makeup job. With a nod, she smiled again.

"_Better be putting Alan to bed, poor guy looks affright_." Quinn gave thumbs up and Scott looked back over at Alan, he was pale. The makeup Tin-Tin did, just for the base coat made Alan look sickly.

"So we'll go on to eat dinner and when we're done we'll come back up and finish Alan's make up." Tin-Tin said as he hid her supplies from view. She would rather nobody discover the stage makeup for fear that it would blow the prank up in their faces.

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

"Alan, are you feeling well?" Jeff looked at Alan carefully, noticing that Alan seemed awfully pale.

"I'm okay, just a little tired." Alan said as he put on the façade of feeling tired. Sure he was actually tired, but he was milking it for all it was worth. He ate his dinner halfheartedly before Tin-Tin suggested that he go lay down before he fell down and Alan agreed. He stood up and left the kitchen, having Tin-Tin's promise that she'd snag him a slice of her mother's huckleberry pie from the kitchen before traveling up to her room where Alan would be waiting to have his makeup finished.

Tin-Tin stayed put for several minutes, finishing her portion of dinner before accepting a slice of pie from her mother. When she'd finished her pie, she stood to take her plate to the kitchen. After closing the door to the kitchen, Tin-Tin hurriedly snagged a slice of pie for Alan and crept up the servants stairs to the hall which led to her bedroom. After making it up the stairs without being noticed, Tin-Tin continued on to her bedroom, slipping through the door and locking it so nobody could sneak up on her and Alan.

"I come bearing pie." Tin-Tin smiled at Alan as she noticed him stretched out on her bed, reading one of her magazines.

"Yummy, I love your mother's pie." Alan sat up before accepting the slice of pie from Tin-Tin. He ate slowly so he wouldn't smear the huckleberry pie on his face and when he'd finished, he and Tin-Tin re-entered the bathroom to finish his makeup job.

"Okay now hold still." Tin-Tin made Alan sit on the edge of her bathtub this time while she sat on the lid of the toilet. She took an outline facial marker and lightly drew the design on Alan's face.

Alan sat perfectly still, allowing Tin-Tin to color in the spaces which she'd drawn on Alan's face. When she finished she cringed her at her own handy work.

"That so super creepy, even I'd be scared if I saw that and Alan you'd better not get any ideas." Tin-Tin said as she grabbed her hand mirror and held it up so Alan could see how he looked. "Don't scare yourself, please?"

"I'm not gonna sc- oh my god. Tin-Tin this is amazing." Alan grabbed the hand mirror and turned his face as he looked at his makeup. Tin-Tin made it look like Alan had razor sharp teeth and was crying tears of blood. He looked disturbing even to himself. "Move over Pennywise."

"Alan, you'd best get to your bedroom. Scott promised that he and John would keep Gordon busy to give you time to get your makeup put on and get back to your room." Tin-Tin glanced at her watch and noticed that Alan had five minutes to get back to his and Gordon's shared bedroom and get situated enough so that Gordon wouldn't notice the makeup.

"Okay, toodles." Alan got up to leave when Tin-Tin followed him from the bathroom.

"Alan what do you say?" Tin-Tin asked as she was expecting a word of thanks not only for doing Alan's makeup but snagging him a piece of pie.

"Oh yeah…" Alan said before dimming Tin-Tin's bedroom light and adopting his best creeper voice. "Beep, Beep Richie…beep, beep."

Tin-Tin gave a shudder at the infamous Pennywise the Clown quote from Steven King's IT film. She didn't like clowns much, she personally felt they were creepy as hell – but Alan wanted to scare Gordon disguised as a clown so she'd agreed to do the makeup.

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

Alan lay in bed until Gordon turned out his light on his side of the room. Listening for Gordon's breathing to even out – Alan waited patiently for his chance to strike. He played games on his phone until he was sure that Gordon was out cold at which time he texted Scott to bring his camera and to get in his position for maximum blackmail gold. When Scott slunk into Alan and Gordon's bedroom, he gave Alan his prop that Alan couldn't resist purchasing when he and Tin-Tin bought the makeup.

Turning some creepy music box music on over his phone, Alan crept over to stand beside Gordon's side of the room.

"Lizzie Borden took an ax and gave her mother forty whacks." Alan recited in his creepiest demonic impersonation. "When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one."

Gordon stirred slightly but didn't awaken, so Alan continued with his creepy skipping-rope rhymes.

"Don't ever laugh as a hearse goes by for you may be the next to die…"

Scott began filming as Alan recited the rhymes and covered his mouth to stifle a laugh when Alan crept gradually closer to his brother with the altered version of the skipping rope rhyme from A Nightmare on Elm Street.

"One, Two – Allie's coming for you…three , four – Better lock your door. Five, Six get your crucifix. Seven, eight - Gonna stay up late. Nine, ten – Never sleep again…Eleven, twelve – Allie's back from HELL!" Alan lunged at Gordon as he yelled hell, making Gordon shoot up from sleep and Alan turned on the flashlight at the prime moment because he scared the bejeezus out of Gordon and he let out an undignified very high pitched scream in response to Alan's scare tactic.

Alan began to laugh and he took off running when Gordon caught his breath before leaping out of bed after his younger brother with a bellow of "Alan! I'm going to kill you!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: So for the One, Two Allie's coming for you, I did obviously exchange Freddie Krueger's name for _**Alan's nickname**_ and one of my friends added the eleven, twelve - so and so is back from Hell...she scared the living daylights out of me when we were in our junior year of high school. She snuck up on me and she knew that I was afraid of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies - anyway she waited until I'd gone into the art supply closet to retrieve my art supplies for my painting and turned out the lights while chanting that. Needless to say I threw all my supplies in the air when she exchanged Dessi for Freddie - so she chanted through it and stopped after going Eleven, Twelve Dessi's back from HELL! **_

_**Angel**_


End file.
